New Year…

So, another year dawns.  I am so much better at reflecting than I am at resolutioning, or predicting.  So, here goes:

Today, my (beautiful, articulate, intelligent, and congenial) daughter and I had a good time.  It has been a very, very, very , very, long time coming.  I love her so much, and finally I think we may be on the road to a good (wow) relationship.  I still didn’t disclose my feelings well and she still said some abrasive things, but it was good.  And, that, was: awesome.

This year has been without major drama or events.  Thank Who Ever!   My parents though aging, are relatively healthy.  My bills are relatively paid.  I have a decent home (although it is not fit for public sharing, sadly).  I have wonderful friends.  I am overwhelmed by my friends.  I am so aloof sometimes, and prefer hermitude to reaching out, so to be a friend of mine requires work, and I soooooooooooo appreciate those who get ME and still are my friend.  I love you.

This summer was a summer of lazy.  My nephew, who hates me now, was here for a few days, and we had fun doing as little as possible.  At like 3:00 each day, I’d say, “Hey, let’s go look at something historical or beautiful.” and he’d say, “Nahhhhhhhh/” and I’d say, “Ok, let’s watch more crime TV”  But we did manage to swim in a few lakes – awesome – I want a lake in my backyard now – and read a bit, and he and I went to DC and I showed him one of the many secrets of DC – the Library of Congress and the tunnel, and the Botanical Gardens. (oops, that is three, not one – plus we toured the Capitol).

Fall arrived, and I “put the hammer down” on my new students who came with quite a bad rep.  So far, not TOO many major problems with them.  But, still enough that I question my existence.  I wanted to take a mental health day, but for the first time in 14 years, I have yet to take a day off.   I really need a day in my classroom alone, and perhaps that will happen, but I am such a people person, I will visit with another teacher and help them do their room before I do mine.  I should work on that.

I was so bored this summer, so I decided to take painting classes.  The fear nearly stopped me.  What I found, after apologizing for my lack of talent, is that I may actually have a tiny bit.  I found something that was life transforming.  My instructor, Bill Harris, really has shown me a whole new world.  I love the process of art – always have.  The feel of the chalk, the pencil, the paper, the water, the paint colors, the pastels, the clay.  The product has never (and still isn’t) been important.  Probably because I never had a worthy product…until now.  Now, with a bit of instruction, I feel like I can produce (reminds me of Dean Lines – high school art teacher who told me that art = production) something that is worthy.  I’m still going to approach it from a process point of view vs. a product, but if a nice product comes out, I will try to accept it.  In the end, it is fun.

My house is evolving, but with a disjointed plan.  I have a master plan in my mind, but to convey it to the master is difficult.  If I tell him the whole thing, he forgets, and it frustrates me.  If I hold back  – he gets frustrated that I didn’t share my desires.  Can’t win.

House List:

couch and rug

counters and backsplash

bedroom – paint, floor and furniture

fence – damnit!

landscape – just some minor things that are DIY

basement – and attic – dejunkify……..

So, I have goals, and I have had some progress, this year, I am just gonna keep on truckin’………..

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One Response to New Year…

  1. scott says:

    Very well written.

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